With their permission, I have reproduced a real student’s application with an overview of their academics and resume and the complete text of their essays. At the end of this post, I assess their potential Personal Achievement Index score on a scale of 1 to 6. Since one hundred reviewers will read the same application slightly differently, not everyone is going to score each application the same. I provide theoretical score probabilities and my best guess of what they received in practice.

If you want to learn more about how reviewers read and review applications, I recommend my comprehensive UT admissions guide Your Ticket to the Forty Acres for an indepth look at the admissions scoring process.

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Background and resume highlights

Family: Low income, large suburban high school, white, male

Academics: Rank top 9% with a 1520 SAT (780m / 740v) for an Academic Index of 3.64 / 4

Resume Summary: Tuba All-State band, first chair regional orchestra, band sectional leader, eight other music awards, Engineering club and competitions, summer camp counselor, part time job, 50+ volunteering hours

Essay A Tell Us Your Story

I laid gazing at the brilliant rural night sky enveloping my great grandmother’s house in Roby, Texas. I had just finished my long division worksheet from Friday. I probably should have kept quiet and enjoyed the tranquility, yet my dad patiently whispered answers to my questions. “If aliens existed, would they want us to find them?” He thought before answering, “It’s almost certain that they are out there, so probably not.” 

Our family had long retired to bed. I pointed upwards. “Why is the milky way cloudy?” Together, we wondered about life beyond Earth. We stayed out for one last shooting star (agreeing that they're merely falling space rocks on fire). My dad is an encyclopedia of obscure knowledge. Especially in my elementary years, he never passed up an opportunity to explain a computer or mathematical concept. 

I’m a little bit of a loner and a contrarian, so my dad and I relate. He’s math and science-oriented and worked as a computer programmer before becoming disillusioned with creating programs and algorithms that made stockbrokers and day traders rich. We spend hours discussing science, religion, and the human psyche. We compare perspectives about the origins of life and existence. Our conversations help keep me grounded when I’m struggling in school or questioning why I remain in band. 

I continued playing tuba after middle school because I sort of liked playing. Band is Bevo’s tightest knit community, so I figured a built-in group would force me to socialize and find my place among 2700+ students. I auditioned freshman year and made bottom band. We weren’t expected to audition for region, so opportunities for improvement slipped away. 

What few friends I had freshman year auditioned, made region band, received close instruction, and refined their musicianship. It embarrassed me to be left behind, so I made it a point to improve and practice every day. I wanted to prove to myself and others that I was better than a bottom band tuba player. 

December freshman year, I called my mom. “They noticed!” My band directors had decided to move me up to Wind Symphony for my second semester in high school. Pulled into the orbits of competent musicians, I learned and practiced my audition music, improving rapidly. I loved playing in my free time. I made top band, advanced to Area, and was soon recognized as the first chair tuba at McNiel. Junior year, I earned 1st in the region, number one in area, and eventually 15th in Texas. Receiving these accolades meant a lot to me, but not as much as the voice music gave me to express my ability to invest in something I enjoy.

I feel loyal to music for it’s gifts of expression and community, so I struggled with my decision to leave marching band. I prefer concert band because it focuses more on performing beautiful pieces and less about how we look. Competitive marching band is all about how well the directors can teach a set of dots and power chords that were cut and pasted from last year’s winning show by expensive consultants. Section leader felt more like section servant. Rather than leading individuals, my role was confined to streamlining a superficial process.

I found ways to subvert a system I viewed as corrupt and lacking purpose and focused on reaching out to motivated freshmen interested in improving their skills. Denied region auditions during my first year, I helped a few of them fine-tune their pieces despite the chaos of marching season. I’ve since determined it isn’t worth the struggle, so even though I’m one of our band’s top players, I decided playing tuba in the marching band for senior year isn’t in my best interest. I convinced the directors to give me a nominal role in marching band so I could still participate, have my band period, and focus on what I love - playing concert music. I’m grateful that we found a compromise.

Adam Grant’s book, Originals, suggests that non-conformists and creatives disrupt systems and produce innovation and meaningful change. I’ll never apologize for asking questions or going against the grain. I’ve grown a lot in the ten years since that starry night at my great grandmother’s house. My dad introduced me to math and science and continues to inspire wonder. I only recently realized his response about aliens certainly being “out there” references Fermi’s Paradox. What I admire most is his walking away from lucrative programming roles and sticking to his principles. Sharing contrarian views and standing by my convictions keeps me true to myself.

Major Short Answer

Inspiring teachers and mentors motivate my engineering ambitions. Math and science are my academic strengths, and I love solving practical problems. In elementary school, I often helped my grandfather build hunting blinds. I loved planning the specific dimensions of the blind’s features, and I thought of several designs for an adjustable-height base.

In my engineering classes, we have access to 3D printers that I have used to model several of my CAD designs. Showing finished parts to my friends and taking them home to put beside my bed gives me a sense of fulfillment. Design challenges in engineering club or at TEAMS have a similar effect. I enjoy solving individual problems that contribute to a better understanding of complete systems. I’ve taken as many STEM courses as I can, including AP Physics, Calculus, and Computer Science. 

Besides my family, my sophomore engineering teacher Mr. Agee is my biggest influence. He went to Yale and Harvard and was a seventh-generation teacher. He connected engineering to everything like economics, global warming, psychology, and biology. He made abstract or complicated math and physics relevant to our daily lives. He has a famous phrase that I now live by, “You are what you do.” 

He exposed me to many mechanical engineering tools and techniques. My favorite project involved designing, programming, and building a machine that separated four different types of marbles at the press of a button. He dazzled us by connecting seemingly unrelated topics and challenged us to consider the “whys” behind the marble sorting rather than the mechanical-hows. 

Sadly, following a misunderstanding with a student, the administration suspended Mr. Agee last winter. Dozens of classmates and I lobbied administration for his return. We made #freeagee shirts, mounted a change.org petition, and our parents wrote furious emails. Bowing to our pressure, Bevo administration invited him to return, but Mr. Agee refused. He is a principled person, but honestly, I don’t know why he stopped teaching. His departure is a great loss for my personal and technical development.  

Leadership Short Answer

In my Principles of Engineering class, our amazing aforementioned teacher Mr. Agee assigned the marble sorter project. In groups of three, he gave us the task of designing, building, and programming a machine that would sort four different types of marbles (out of the five available) at the push of a button. My group and I had no idea where to begin. Do we start building stuff? Which type of marbles do we want to sort? These are all the same size, how is that gonna work?

I suggested that we list the characteristics of each type of marble and to design our sorter around that information. It seemed like the logical first step, but all of our groups struggled to look beyond the daunting task and get to work. I’m usually the guy that my classmates look to when we’re confused, but I couldn’t see any solutions either. 

Soon, my teammates were asking me to choose which marbles to sort. That was a few steps ahead in the process, and we weren’t ready. Instead, I considered several ways to take advantage of the physical properties of each marble we had listed earlier. Steel was the heaviest, so I proposed a weighted lever that only tips with the steel. Glass was the biggest, so I modeled a ramp where everything would fall through but glass. Lastly, plastic was translucent while wood was opaque, so I knew we needed some type of light sensor.

When I presented these ideas to my team, I saw their eyes light up. We all connected the dots almost immediately and incorporated these features into a single machine. I delegated specific tasks so that we could finish on time and put it all together before the deadline. Our final product worked like a charm and included features from each of us. I took pride in creating a process that allowed others’ ideas and mine to take shape and complete a task that seemed impossible at first. It also felt great to solve one of Mr. Agee’s riddles.

Diversity Short Answer

I work at an estate sale company. Every day is different. Our clients range from young couples moving to other countries to old folks looking to downsize while mourning the loss of their recently-deceased. We liquidate everything from small suburban houses filled with quirky antiques to multi-million dollar lake-houses with expansive leather couches.

I’m responsible for gathering and organizing items. If customers want something, they usually go through me. Once, a woman tried to bargain on the price of a floor lamp in a language I didn’t understand. Her five-year-old daughter said her mom speaks only Hindi, so the little girl served as our translator. The mom bargained hard while the daughter reluctantly translated, which isn’t uncommon. It’s sometimes intimidating because I look young and people think they can steamroll me. The company warns me against going too low, so there really are times we can’t find a middle price. 

One of our best customers comes to every sale. He is obsessed with Alaska and assures us he can find something in every house that’s Alaska related. He searches every box, shelf, and cabinet, often declaring, “See! Photographs from the klondike gold rush!” The only sales he misses is when he’s actually in Alaska.  

The craziest item we ever came across was a Nazi pistol from World War II. Our client fought the Germans and showcased it like a trophy. Anything with Nazi symbols or fascist memorabilia is illegal to buy, trade, or possess in the United States, so we occasionally come across things that even a history museum would be hard-pressed to find. 

Assisting these people makes me more culturally aware. Everyone, regardless of their ethnicity, age, or religion, has unique preferences, techniques for haggling, and, most importantly, ways of expressing thanks. I’ve yet to travel outside of the US, so sorting memorabilia from around the world and selling it to people from all walks of life encourages me to study abroad when I’m in college. My aunt who teaches elementary school in Japan makes me curious to visit.

Plan II Essay

Technology-induced distractions obscure from national and global issues like rising populism and climate change. Frivolously and unconsciously spending hours each week on Netflix, Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter create alternative realities where we are the products in late-stage digital capitalism. Swipes, likes, and notifications hijack our minds in subtle ways by triggering dopamine releases that keep us addicted to their platforms.

I obsessed over my Snapchat streaks and even gave someone else my password to maintain my streaks. I met someone who told me they didn't keep streaks. It’s obvious in hindsight but was revelatory at the time. She questioned, “If you don't actually talk to each other every day, then you shouldn't have a streak.”

I reflexed, “That’s crazy. I’m not that antisocial!” After some consideration, however, I stopped sending mindless pictures twice a day. I’ve started slowly reclaiming my autonomy by checking my phone and app use, freeing up my attention.

Former Google employee and digital ethicist Tristan Harris rightly asserts that “what’s at stake is our Agency. Our ability to live the lives we want to live, choose the way we want to choose, and relate to others the way we want to relate to them....” Collective inattention prevents meaningful action on climate change, space exploration, and civic discourse that threatens potential extinction.

These incredibly complex issues require a diverse curriculum. I’m excited for Plan II’s anthropology and psychology and more technical classes with Dr. Hans Mark and Dr. Tess Moon that intersect with my mechanical engineering major and obsession with human attention.

Plan II Five Sentences

1.       I’ve noticed that personalities resonate with each other like notes on a keyboard; close but slightly different notes clash while wider intervals complement one another.

2.      I sometimes wonder how much of me isn't me at all, but rather a combination of people and places I've known

3.      Jupiter by Gustav Holst is the greatest piece of music ever written.

4.      In a year-long self-guided inquiry project for English last year, I learned that excessive competition is largely a result of a lack of empathy, one’s environment, and a need for validation.  

5.      Mathematics claims precision, but when it comes to characters, music, and art, beauty lies in emotions and shades of grey that algebra and geometry cannot call to account.

Admissions Results/Analysis

Review thoughts: This is an extremely interesting applicant because it’s quite rare for universities to receive applications from low-income, Pell Grant Eligible students who also rank highly in their class and score very high on their SATs. Only around 10% of Cockrell School of Engineering enrolled students are Pell-eligible, so UT is looking to find highly capable low-income students because so few attend schools with adequate resources or have the educational opportunities to excel with their peers in resource-rich environments.

Especially for honors programs, there are almost no highly qualified low-income or Pell-eligible applicants. It’s important to understand this context to frame this student’s application. Their application in its own right is formidable. They’re some of the best essays of any client I had for Fall 2020, especially their Essay A. The Diversity short answer is also memorable because it’s highly likely the only time their reviewer read about Estate Sales during the cycle. They may not have even known what they were prior to this applicant. Anytime you can share something unique, it’s an approach worth pursuing.

I also think it’s effective to discuss their Engineering class in both Major and Leadership because their resume is thin on STEM experiences, so it’s critical that the essays provide that missing piece to demonstrate how they’re a good fit for engineering. Their unorthodox style and contrarian mood throughout also makes them an appealing applicant for Plan II honors who seek out curious and quirky students willing to ask questions and go against the grain.

Even if they were a high-income student, I think they’re a solid 5, definitely a high 4. A keen reviewer noting the relative rarity of high-scoring yet low-income students might reward them with a 6. They didn’t initially apply for Engineering Honors, but were invited to join in the spring and offered a substantial scholarship. Between their need and merit aid, they will attend UT for free.

Admissions Score Probabilities:

One:  0%

Two:  0%

Three:  0%

Four:  20%

Five:  70%

Six:  10%

Likely score: 5 or 5.5

Decision: Admit early Mechanical Engineering and Plan II, Invitation to Engineering Honors with Scholarship

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