With their permission, I have reproduced a real Spring Transfer student application so that way you can see their entire portrait rather than the more commonly self-reported credentials on places like Reddit or College Confidential that often lack the essays. Studying applications offers a glimpse into how reviewers assess and score applications and offer food for thought when you’re crafting your own application.

Check out this comprehensive UT transfer admissions guide along with Essay A Statement of Purpose and Essay E Issue of Importance examples with commentary.

Remember that the transfer process only looks at your college coursework and GPA. Your high school grades/rank and SAT/ACT are not considered nor reviewed, so I have not included that information. The first applicant applied for Liberal Arts and the second to Natural Sciences. Each of these applicants transferred from Austin Community College. Studying at ACC, however, confers no advantage in the transfer admissions process.

At the end of this post, I assess their potential Personal Achievement Index score on a scale of 1 to 6. Since one hundred reviewers will read the same application slightly differently, not everyone is going to score each application the same. I provide theoretical score probabilities and my best guess of what they received in practice.

If you want to learn more about how reviewers read and review applications, I recommend my comprehensive UT admissions guide Your Ticket to the Forty Acres for an in-depth look at the admissions scoring process.

Check out my new book Surviving the College Admissions Madness and Youtube Channel

College of Liberal Arts Spring Transfer Applicant

Background and resume highlights

Family: White female, upper-middle-class college-educated family, suburban high school

Academics and transfer coursework: 21 hours completed by Fall 2019 with 12 hours in the fall. Reviewers waited for fall grades to make a decision. GPA after Fall 2019 was 3.73. All A’s except for 1 B and 1 C.

Resume Summary: Part-time babysitter, part-time job pilates studio, ACC Geology Club, Founder and Social Chair of a HS service organization, special needs student helper

Transfer Essay A Statement of Purpose Liberal Arts

This fall, I moved to Austin, and it was the best choice I ever made. Choosing Austin Community College over other four year universities was an easy choice. Moving from a small suburb, Bevo, to the state’s capital of Texas came as a big change. I wanted to live in Austin, develop my sense of self, and explore future opportunities. My parents were much less involved in my life compared with my friends’ parents, which led me to be more self-reliant than others. I’ve worked a few jobs that taught me the importance of time management and accountability.

Growing up, my family and I took many road trips to Austin because my dad earned his degree from McCombs and became a Texas Ex. He loved showing us “the best school on Earth.” My favorite childhood memories involved visiting the capitol and strolling The Drag. Cheering with other Longhorns at Darrell K Royal at my first football game inspired me to call UT home someday. Austin feels much more vibrant and authentic than my hometown. I’m thankful for the change of scenery; however, living in The Callaway House surrounded mostly by UT students sometimes makes me feel sad because I want to be in their position. Living with them encourages me to continue working hard to achieve my goal of earning my UT degree. 

Living in Austin helps prepare me for my future at UT. Each day offers new opportunities to learn, meet new people, and explore the city. When I’m not at school or doing my homework, I soak up every second immersing myself in Austin culture. I go downtown for music shows and hike around Barton Creek Greenbelt. Gaining my bearings here will help me transition to a four-year university rather than potentially changing both cities and universities if I’m not admitted. I’m extremely fortunate that I can afford to live here because other teenagers may not have the same opportunities. 

I have effortlessly adapted to the Austin lifestyle thanks to making new friends. Although my goal is to be on the Forty Acres, I’m focusing on my schoolwork and making the most of my opportunities at ACC. I want to major in geography with a possible anthropology minor. My favorite courses cover those subjects, and they’ve been my best college professors thus far. They’re unlike any I’ve ever taken because they share how humans interact with the world now and throughout history. It fascinates me to know where we come from. 

My time at ACC is important for my academic growth. This semester has been the most eye-opening of my life. I’ve learned a great deal from my professors, peers, and from the city. I’m active in our chapter’s Geology Club, which I joined this semester to further my interest in the natural world. It’s an opportunity to make friends, explore issues in my related major geography, and listen to lectures with area professionals. Geology Club helps me explore possible careers either in the classroom or the field. 

UT has impressive geography and anthropology departments. One reason I enjoy geography is that it applies to so many fields. I want to take classes with Dr. Troy M. Kimmel, a well-known meteorologist. Climate and weather are essential to understanding how we interact with our planet. One of the enthralling opportunities the university offers is the Geographic Information Science (GIS) program. GIS technology helps scientists and engineers capture, store, and display mapping data. Maps are an essential tool, and studying geography in the 21st century involves cutting edge technology. I look forward to the challenge of learning new skills and techniques in exciting classes and finding my community in UT student organizations.  

Essay E Issue of Importance

As children, my younger twin brothers and I were extremely close. We played together every day and got along better than most siblings. Over the years, however, our relationship changed drastically. As their 12th birthday neared, our family noticed a shift in one of their behaviors and attitude. They’re twins and look similar, but they’ve always had polar opposite personalities. Kyle was always kinder and more caring while Kaden was a little more blunt and snarky. Kaden already lived with severe ADHD, but in 2016 Kaden was diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety.

The past few years have been extremely tough, especially with my parent's divorce in 2017 while I was in high school. Handling Kaden’s behavior while attending to two other children as joint-custody parents strained all of our relationships. My parents have taken him to every doctor in the area, tried different psychiatrists and therapists, and gotten him accommodations for school; however, despite all the help that they have sought out, nothing has truly made him better yet.

The past year and a half has been especially tough on my mom. My brothers and I spend two-thirds of our time with mom and the remainder with dad which means that almost every school day is spent at mom’s house. Kaden often refuses to go to school let alone participate in activities he initially wanted to join. My mom feels helpless when Kaden screams at and belittles her. I’ve witnessed more than a few breakdowns. Kyle feels discouraged that his twin brother causes so much stress, but we know it isn’t Kaden’s fault.

The stigma around mental illness is a global issue that affects hundreds of millions of people regardless of age, race, religion, geography, or income. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety affects 25.1% of children. Depression is the leading disability in the United States. These diseases affect everyone differently, and my family is lucky that Kaden’s diagnoses are mild. Anxiety or depression or ADHD alone may be manageable, but all three feels like we’re constantly putting out fires. Severe ADHD affects all aspects of his life.

The CDC reports that 11% of children and 4% of adults in 2016 live with ADHD.  The prejudice towards these disabilities is common in today’s society. My brother receives stares and whispers at school and when we go out. I don’t necessarily blame them, but they don’t realize the depths of these issues and how their actions affect him. Kaden recognizes that he is a normal child with common cognitive disabilities. Others reactions can’t help but damper his self-esteem. It is important to remember that whether we realize it or not, many people around us are battling with some mental illness every day. 

Mental illness and its stigma is something important to me because of the impact it can have on people like my brother: low self-confidence, feelings of isolation, anger, and confusion. The judgment that surrounds it has no place in society when mental disease affects 1 in 5 American adults every year. Almost every family, friend group, classroom, or sports team knows someone or are themselves living with mental illness. I try to give others the benefit of the doubt because you can’t see each person’s struggle.

Results and Analysis

Review thoughts: Thoughtful applicant who outlines their reasons for enrolling at ACC, how they’ve taken advantage of their opportunity, and how UT will help them explore their interests. Joining the Geology club demonstrates an effort to introduce themselves to their proposed major, Geography. Their final paragraph in Essay A details specific opportunities that interest them. In Essay E, they connect their personal experiences with broader societal themes surrounding ADHD and it’s treatment. Although the applicant has few experiences related to their proposed major, their grades and essays suggest that they will make the most of their time at UT. This is a textbook example of a 4 on the personal achievement index. There isn’t enough here in terms of demonstrated fit for major or extensive accomplishments to warrant a 5, but it’s also sufficiently thoughtful to not warrant a 3 although I can imagine how some reviewers might assign that score.

 

Admissions Score Probabilities:

One:  0%

Two:  0%

Three:  25%

Four:  70%

Five:  5%

Six:  0%

Likely score: 4

 

Decision: Admitted for Spring 2020 Transfer, College of Liberal Arts, Geography

College of Natural Sciences Spring Transfer Applicant

Background and resume highlights

Family: Hispanic/white female, middle class with college-educated parents, private Christian high school, out of high school for two years

Academics: GPA: 3.875. 35 hours completed prior to Fall 2019 and applying. All A’s in core curriculum humanities courses and statistics, B in Cell Biology with Lab, A in General Chemistry. Calculus in progress for Fall 2019. Phi Theta Kappa.

Resume Summary: Part-time paid high school teacher’s aide, part-time job at a breast milk fulfillment center, softball team captain, drum major, thespian society vice president, theater department stage manager, 180 volunteer hours.

Essay A Statement of Purpose Natural Sciences

I enrolled at Austin Community College on my parent’s advice. They encouraged me to finish my general studies before pursuing my Nursing degree. Their reasoning about saving money and earning credits that transfer anywhere seemed reasonable at the time. I’ve learned only recently that transferring to UT Nursing is almost impossible. I realize that I’m more interested in studying nutrition anyways, and I can apply for spring entry rather than waiting for the fall.

In hindsight, maybe I should have pursued CAP to have a direct pathway to attending my dream school. I’m sure though that ACC isn’t my best fit, and I regret not attending my safety university. I felt left out when my friends seemed to be excited to move away from home. I wanted to pick out the bedding and decorations and choose from a much wider possibility of classes. When I shared that I was staying close to home, some friends greeted me with pitiful looks and doubtful words. My aunt was talking about how much fun my cousin was having at their four-year university. "You will miss out on so much not going to a university!"

She might be right. Many of my friends have since moved on, and I honestly feel left behind. Once my first day of college arrived, my doubts and insecurities increased. I looked around at everyone scurrying to class and recognized nobody. Even fewer people seemed close to my age. I assumed my friends’ first days at university were quite different. I acknowledge the opportunities I have here at a much lower price, but the experience isn’t the same.

I’ve noticed that, as people get older, they tend to appreciate moments a little bit less. When I was a child, I loved the cheer and joy at birthday parties and big family gatherings. Even when I sat quietly and eavesdropped, I felt giddy. 

I’ve even noticed my tendency to take less time for what matters most, family. My softball games replaced Sunday family BBQs. I hear the phrase "Life got in the way" to explain absences. Instead of spending the week with my grandmother and all eight cousins, I started going to school. As a child, you don’t realize that joy is temporary and fleeting.

I lost much of my innocence when physicians diagnosed my dad with stage-four cancer the summer before fourth grade. I didn’t understand the severity until a few years later. I only saw that my dad was in pain and lacking in energy and that I wanted to help. Since I wasn’t in school, I frequently checked up on him. I wanted to do everything in my power to help him feel better. I learned to make the most of the many hours we spent at the hospital. I missed our family gatherings even more.

Watching the doctors use the equipment and nurses who stopped by fascinated me. I especially liked the ones who took the time to answer my questions and explain what they were doing. Science has been my favorite subject ever since. I’m motivated to make the most of my opportunities here by focusing on my long-term goals to receive a Bachelors of Science from UT.  

There are specific resources offered by the Department of Nutritional Sciences that interest me like Susie’s Kitchen Nutrition and Cooking camps. Since my family lives with nutritional concerns, I would love to share the science of eating well with children and young adults that are in a prime time to begin forming good habits.

I also like how UT offers different options for a nutrition degree. It’s a surprisingly broad degree. The option that particularly interests me the most is the Coordinated Program in Dietetics. I want to experience working in a clinical setting with a focus on helping patients with their nutrition instead of being a nurse. Although it’s one of UT’s smallest specializations, their alumni seem to do amazing things like serving as the head of NICU nutrition for Dell Pediatrics Hospital. 

Overall, I’m thankful for my experiences at ACC. I’ve become more self-sufficient, and I’m responsible with money. I paid off my tuition in full. Their flexible scheduling also helps me balance my work schedule more easily than if I attended a four-year university. Freshman year seems like the biggest deal when you’re graduating high school, but it’s just one small step towards a life-changing education and future career.

Essay E Issue of Importance

We rarely ate out as a family, so I knew something was up when they broke the news. My parents shared that my dad had just been diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. Soon after his diagnosis, the chemo and radiation treatments began. I was nine.

The surgery was definitely the hardest part. He lost almost twenty pounds, making his recovery even harder. We never eat out anymore because my dad doesn’t have much of a colon and requires a specialized diet. He doesn’t eat at family gatherings. It saddened me that he felt left out. We missed a family reunion vacation in Spain hosted by my grandpa because my dad wasn’t well enough to join.

I learned only recently that his surgery was high-risk. It’s a miracle that he survived. Despite his trials, he prevailed. Before his diagnosis, he was training for a marathon but had to put it on hold. He’s been in remission for almost ten years, and I’m happy to say he completed his first marathon in February. 

We initially feared that this kind of cancer runs in our family. About a year after my dad’s diagnosis and surgery, my paternal grandmother received the same cancer diagnosis. Due to my grandma’s age, her case was a little more serious. She fought it off for a time, but it only took about a year and a half for it to come back. This time, it spread even faster.

Sadly, despite all the medical trials and surgeries, cancer got to her liver and killed her four years after she was diagnosed. My dad felt her pain particularly since he knew exactly what she was going through. He received genetic testing, and it turns out to be a cruel coincidence that they experienced the exact same cancer.

Even though I was just a child when my dad was diagnosed, I still remember our family's summer of chemo, radiation, surgery, and pain. My mom tried so hard to remain strong, but I knew deep inside how afraid she was to lose my dad and raise two kids as a single mother.  As a little girl, I thought my mom knew exactly what to do, but I understand now she was just as lost and confused as us if maybe for different reasons.

After my dad’s and especially following my grandma’s diagnoses, my mom completely changed all of our eating habits. You know how every segment on the local news involves some food that may or may not cause cancer? My mom took them all seriously. If the cancer wasn’t genetic, she reasoned, it must be environmental or due to our diet. Understandably so, she didn’t want me or my brother to receive an early cancer diagnosis.

I hated giving up my Doritos, but I grew accustomed to eating spinach and leafy greens in substitute for grains and processed foods.  Not only did I start to like eating healthier, I realized I couldn’t eat any other way. My extended family, especially my dad’s side, tends to stick to the cheapest, most processed foods. They never shy away from white bread, box macaroni, frozen dinners, and sodas.

I’m thankful mom reformed our food pantry and eating habits. Sure, it’s possible that I could get cancer, but I sleep and feel better than ever before. If I limit my cancer risk, that’s an additional benefit. I’ve cut out processed, high-sugar foods. Eating at home helps me eat nutritiously and also saves money. I’ve substituted white flour with protein-rich alternatives and use ground cauliflower for pizza crust.

Food may be an important part of one’s overall nutrition, but maintaining an active lifestyle also matters.  I played team sports for most of my life. I’m not a big fan of running, but my dad is an amazing distance runner. Running together with my dad, who often says he feels lucky to be alive, pushes me to go the extra mile. We run local races, most recently the CASA 5K. I can’t keep up with him yet, but I look forward to running our first half and full marathons together.

Nutrition and healthy living bring balance to my body and mind. I don’t live in fear of contracting a disease or cancer. I focus on what I can control and prepare myself for whatever life throws at me. I look forward to earning my Nutrition degree so I can share my story and guide others on their personal health journey.

Results and Analysis

Review thoughts: The applicant demonstrates a clear fit for their first choice major academically and given their family circumstances detailed in Essay E. Earning a B in Biology makes their 3.87 GPA a little bit weaker, however. Having calculus in progress also helps demonstrate their readiness for Natural Sciences. Although they have few relevant resume experiences, that’s less important for the transfer admissions process. Nevertheless, they demonstrated leadership and a commitment to service in high school and are working a current job relevant to mothers’ health, which ties into their first choice major Nutrition. In their Essay A, they outline clear reasons why they’re transferring and their thought processes for forgoing CAP. They do a nice job balancing what they’ve learned at ACC with how UT can help them broaden their horizons and achieve long-term goals. They’ve identified a number of specific UT resources and opportunities that demonstrate they’ve done their research.

 

Admissions Score Probabilities:

One:  0%

Two:  0%

Three:  5%

Four:  65%

Five:  30%

Six:  0%

Likely score: 4.5

 

Decision: Admitted Spring 2020 Transfer, College of Natural Sciences, Nutrition

Interested in working together to help build your best transfer application? Complete my questionnaire for a free e-mail admissions consultation.