Six Examples of Apply Texas Transfer Essay E Issue of Importance
UT-Austin requires transfer applicants to submit two essays. Everyone must submit the Essay A Statement of Purpose, which I discuss in this post.
You have the option to submit Essay C regarding any special circumstances, Essay D that allows for art criticism, and most applicants choose to submit Essay E Issue of Importance.
Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
I provide some tips in this post, and below I present six real Essay E examples to give you an idea how you can approach this prompt.
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Poverty, Education, and Microfinance
It was six AM, and I could barely keep my eyes open for more than fifteen seconds. Curled up in layers of blankets, I attempted to connect with my family in India over Skype. Ready to give up, suddenly my childhood friend appeared in the upper left-hand corner of the screen.
We came from drastically different backgrounds. Her mother, a widow, viewed her a burden by her caste-based community. Her mother worked as a maid and ran several informal businesses in her neighborhood. Over the years, her mother saved enough for my friend’s education. Many others in her community, however, were not this fortunate. I believe that an important tool for fighting poverty is access to reliable financial resources at reasonable prices and basic technology like computers.
Growing up, I shared with her lessons that I learned from my more privileged school. India’s education system that serves disadvantaged children does not equip them with basic English and math skills, necessary for high-paying jobs. I had the privilege of growing up with computers, and I tried to share my skills with others.
When I was young, the unequal access to educational opportunities seemed unfair. I have observed a strong relationship between education levels and poverty. I have a desire to solve this issue by empowering families to finance their education to a large extent.
In India, poverty isn’t abstract and addressing the problems requires hands-on experience. I participated in an entrepreneurial project in high school. My team and I created a “Mobile Lab” that transported teaching aids, books, activities, and sports equipment in a functional automobile to poor communities. We conducted market research on the feasibility of our model, and we consulted various experts.
Funded by charity donors, the Mobile Lab proved a cost-efficient way to get resources to needy learners. We also donated our time and helped tutor the students in basic language skills. Additionally, we raised funds for physically and mentally disabled children supported by the Samarthanam Foundation. Children growing up with disabilities face a particularly difficult life in India and developing countries. Through these projects, I learned that there can be innovative solutions to fighting poverty.
My experience with these small efforts helped me realize that, beyond finance and education, addressing poverty requires a nuanced understanding of the relationships between cultures and communities. Instead of ignoring problems and distracting myself with social media, I learned the important lesson that collective action could produce some good. Individuals working together can create scalable solutions that can be used in other communities. With growing emphasis on materialism, our generation needs to be more sensitive to the needs of others and work towards an inclusive, humane society.
Here at Houston Community College, I have observed similarities between India and the United States. Although poverty in Houston can be less apparent than cities in India, many of my classmates are hardworking people trying to make their way out of poverty through earning an education.
I am interested in working with microfinance institutions, which, although pioneered in places like Bangladesh, are becoming increasingly popular in the United States. There needs to be an alternative to predatory payday loans and cash advances.
Finally, I want to continue my higher education for further learning and research to spread financial literacy and make economic change more inclusive. I want to explore financial strategy, information systems, and investment management to develop solutions. I noticed that the key to my friend’s success was her mother’s thrifty financial management and the path she took as a small-time entrepreneur. This experience with my childhood friend has inspired me to pursue my own social entrepreneurship ambitions in the field of finance.
Commentary
This admitted McCombs student chose to use their Essay E discussing India and microfinance to complement their Essay A Statement of purpose, which discusses receiving education in both the US and their home country.
It’s a wise approach to discuss an issue of importance that fits into your first choice major to demonstrate that you are making an informed major decision and how UT can help you achieve your goals.
Their response strikes a healthy balance between identifying national and international issues and what they’re doing at the local level to address economic inequality. A common mistake I see applicants make when discussing poverty is assuming that the problems are “out there in poor countries” and not evident in the US.
This applicant goes the extra mile by observing how issues they’ve encountered in South Asia are also prevalent in Houston and the United States. Their essay is thoughtful, nuanced, complex, and doesn’t overstretch by claiming that they’re solving global poverty in 650 words.
With their 3.8 GPA and receiving a decision after all others had been released, there is no doubt in both of our minds that their two essays tipped the scales in their favor.
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Swimming and Injuries
“Take your mark. Go!”
The starter’s mechanical voice, amplified and sometimes distorted by poolside loudspeakers, signals the start of yet another race. That ubiquitous, soothing command feels more natural to me than the sound of my own pulsating heartbeat, remaining constant and steady despite navigating the uncertain seas of adolescence. With this, I believed swimming would always be there––at least, until it was not.
In the blink of an eye, part of my identity was swept away and I was left desperately clinging to nothing. My childhood dream of swimming in the Olympics––to be remembered in history––crumbled before my eyes. I grasped at the memories of what once was and grieved over what could have been.
By the age of three, the water was my home. I felt more comfortable in an eighteen–feet deep, ten lane, twenty–five mete swimming pool than on dry ground. By age eight, I swam every day for my local swim club alongside the older summer swim team. By eleven, I rose to my swim club’s second–highest level. I swam two hours each day with an hour of dryland practice twice a week before practice. However, during a grueling and intense practice freshman year, my dreams tore apart––literally.
A team of doctors diagnosed me with scapular winging, rotator cuff tendinitis, and an extra bone near my calcaneus that caused flexor hallicus longus (FHL) tendinitis. Basically, I overused and irreparably shredded my shoulder. My fate was written. My swimming career was over and rehabilitation was not an option. I was caught in a riptide of two different currents: who I aspired to be, and who I truly was. I couldn’t accept this radical change of identity.
I stumbled predictably through each stage of grief: denying anything was wrong, anger for not listening to my body, trying to find any way to re–enter the pool. Everything in my life reminded me of my perceived personal failure and dreams forever deferred.
One day, however, something switched. As if handed fresh goggles, I accepted a clearer outlook on life. I reframed my failures. Though I lost swimming, I found meaning in a renewed social life, a normal teenage existence, and a better relationship with my family. I prioritized my health and embraced new opportunities and challenges, new aspects of a multifaceted identity. After so many rounds of doctor’s visits, specialist referrals, and complicated diagnoses, it occurred to me.
I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to be in the secret society of medicine with their facts, white lab coats, and remarkable self–confidence. I resolved to help other injured young athletes repair not only their bodies, but their minds. With this startling realization, I trusted that my initial “failure” ushered in something new. I began to consider a career in the specialties I personally experienced, such as orthopedic surgery and physical therapy. I imagined helping those who similarly experienced a drastic life change.
I had once believed swimming was my calling; the pool would be my forever home. But as I became older, I reconsidered this belief––maybe swimming was not my true calling after all. Maybe it was never meant to be anything more than a stepping stone to my true calling, medicine.
Following years of recovery, I have managed recently to return to the pool. Before, I repeatedly pushed myself past my breaking point, never truly listening to my body. Now, as I train for UNT’s intramural swim meet, I respect the limits of my injuries. Without the burden of Olympic aspirations, I appreciate swimming different than before.
With every slice of my streamlined hand through the ice–cold water, I am brought back to the grueling practices and arduous meets. However, this time I grateful for the opportunity to be able to find my past self in the water once more rather than taking it for granted.
Commentary
This applicant and I went back and forth whether they should discuss their swimming injuries in their Essay A Statement of Purpose, dedicate an Essay C special circumstances to that discussion, or frame it as an Essay E “personal issue of importance.” Remember, the prompt allows you to discuss something important to you. An issue of importance doesn’t need to be something “out there” like inequality, climate change, or women’s empowerment.
Like with the first example, this applicant chose to link a discussion of their issue of importance with their long-term goals to practice medicine. It complements well their Essay A that discusses their short- and medium-term goals to study Anthropology at UT.
They walk the reviewer through their promising swimming career and subsequent injury. They don’t dwell on these setbacks and instead frame their injury as overcoming adversity. I appreciate their mature discussion of what swimming means to them today while seeing the big picture.
Utilizing technical discussions of anatomy alongside what these complications mean in laymen’s terms also gives a subtle indication that they’ve explored their medical school goals. Undoubtedly, their reviewer walked away with the impression that they’re a mature and thoughtful student. Their essays helped contribute to their favorable admissions decision.
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Mixed-Religion Household and Diversity
My mom’s family is entirely Catholic; my dad’s family is Buddhist. We recognize both Jesus Christ and Buddha, Heaven and rebirth. For the majority of my life, I’ve experienced my personal version of the “Great Schism,” excellent fuel for a near-continual state of existential crisis.
On Wednesdays I attend the Mass, reciting endless "Our Father's" and "Hail Mary's" over the liturgy. Each weekend, I indulge in incense while offering tasty gifts to those long-past at the Teochew Temple. Each ceremony introduces a deeper division of my sense of self, my ethics, and where I come from.
In Mass, we seek redemption for past sins while Buddhism demands attention to the present and moderating our ever-present cravings and restless minds. Redemption comes from within and there isn’t a focus on an eternal afterlife “out there” while the goal of Christianity is serving in God’s image and earning a place in Heaven.
I often feel like I exist in two different worlds, torn between these two families and these two beliefs. Not knowing whether I should exclusively commit myself to one, the other, or neither. Compromise doesn’t seem like an option, but since I cannot commit myself fully to either faith, I don’t feel dedicated to either.
Pi Patel in Life of Pi consoles, "To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation." At the intersection of Catholicism and Buddhism, it felt insane attempting to compromise what felt like irreconcilable beliefs. Like Pi, I've discovered that if I bind myself to one option or the other, I feel perpetual doubt and insecurity. I’ve attempted a self-syncretism, a blending of both schools of belief to suit my daily life. It’s helped me be more open to both Buddhism and Catholicism.
Practicing two distinctly different religions helps me digest otherwise very uncomfortable ideas more easily. Christianity and Buddhism have many mutually exclusive conflicts where my beliefs may seem openly inconsistent or even hypocritical. What works for me doesn’t necessarily need to work for others. I feel more open to talk with people from different backgrounds who share different beliefs or opinions, and being in Houston exposes me to people like my closest friend, who happens to follow Islam. I’m thankful that I can count some of my closest friends as those who live very differently than me.
Now that I’ve finished high school and moved onto college, there is some distance between me and the environment I was raised. I can look back and feel thankful for the many years of confusion borne from receiving conflicting messages from each family.
I feel like everyone would be well served by taking a theology or philosophy class or make an effort to travel outside of their communities. Anything that forces you to consider different points of view is beneficial. I believe that if I’m not being challenged then I’m not growing. Having an open mind opens so many doors that makes
Learning to coexist and invite diversity into your life are values that I share with UT-Austin. At a university that truly exhibits a desire to integrate, with projects and organizations such as the Multicultural Engagement Center and the OIE, I feel I can truly belong. One thing that appeals to me about UT is that there are students that come from almost every county in Texas, all of the states in the United States, and over half of the countries in the world.
I look forward to meeting others who share mixed-identity backgrounds and learning from their experiences. Texas and the rest of the world is becoming increasingly multicultural, and I need to receive an education in an environment that helps prepare me for the challenges of a global community.
Commentary
This former University of Houston student applying to Economics with a 3.4 GPA for Fall 2018 needed homeruns on their Essay A and E to gain admission.
Like the above examples, instead of discussing an issue of importance unrelated to them or one where they lack personal experience, they chose to use their response to provide additional context to their home life and development.
It is almost always preferable to select an issue of importance that you can relate with directly. The more concrete and personal, the better.
Their discussion of growing up in a mixed-religious household demonstrates effectively how they will bring unique and diverse perspectives to UT classrooms and campus. Incorporating specific “Why UT” statements in an essay is always an advisable strategy.
American Prison System
The American prison system houses more people than Austin, El Paso, and Arlington combined. If the approximately 2.2 million incarcerated people formed their own city, it would be roughly as large as Houston. The United States has the highest prison population in the world, with six times the number of people per 100,000 imprisoned compared with China. Texas claims more prisoners than any other state.
Mandatory minimum sentences for minor drug possession and three strikes policies result in a disproportionate number of prisoners serving lengthy sentences for non-violent crimes. Researchers for decades observe discriminatory policing approaches, particularly in urban, low-income areas, result in higher arrest rates and episodes of police brutality relative to wealthier areas. Inherent racial bias in the criminal justice system and lack of adequate legal representation pressures people into pleading guilty for supposedly more lenient sentences accompanied by high bond fees while awaiting sentencing. White collar criminals who commit massive fraud affecting hundreds or thousands of people receive lesser sentences than petty thieves.
The Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) reports that 10% of incarcerated Americans live in federal prisons while the vast majority spend time in state and local prisons and penitentiaries. A recent BJS survey reported that 77% of prisoners re-enter the prison system within five years of their release. With some of the world’s highest recidivism rates, it is clear that the United States justice system requires reform that focuses on rehabilitation rather than retribution while lessening sentences for non-violent first-time offenders. Because most states model their laws and policies according to federal recommendations, meaningful reform occurs federally.
Shane Bauer in his recent, award-winning book American Prison shares his experience working as a guard at a private prison in Louisiana. He details its inhumane conditions, inadequate staffing, high levels of violence, and a lack of mental health resources, which are endemic to the American prison system. Prison officials censor works from Martin Luther King and other Civil Rights activists and Abolition leaders. Texas has banned over 15,000 books to prisoners. He discusses the history of slavery and how a huge loophole in the Thirteenth Amendment provides that, “neither slavery nor involuntary servitude” will be legal in the United States “except for punishment of a crime.” Contemporary prisons employ a modern form of legacy slavery disproportionately affecting African-Americans.
Southern plantation owners needed cheap or free labor to replace chattel slavery following 1865. Ever since budget-conscious state legislatures contract private companies to exploit prison labor for profit. I’ve witnessed this practice firsthand. My high school is close to a state jail, and sometimes you can see the prisoners in shackles, picking cotton or farming corn. Watching prisoners work first got me interested in this topic, and I’ve felt compelled to explore it ever since.
Slowing recidivism rates and breaking cycles of generational poverty require allocating more funding and rehabilitation resources to make American prisons more humane. Prisoners are statistically much more likely to live with mental illness compared to the general population. Bryan Stevenson’s popular Ted Talks and compassionate book Just Mercy calls for providing mental health and social work resources to prisoners as both humane and cost-effective. Everyone deserves equal access to healthcare. Most prisons especially those privately operated don’t employ a full-time therapist despite Department of Justice recommendations for one therapist for every 200 prisoners.
Funding vocational and GED programs while allowing prisoners to read books that they choose can provide pathways for success after release. Florida recently passed a referendum granting people with previous felonies the right to vote. Restoring rights like voting that we take for granted are a step in the right direction to acknowledging the human rights for all.
Many European countries prioritize rehabilitation over retribution. Incarceration rates are very low, and few people return to prison following release. For example, the Netherlands's relaxed drug laws, focus on recovery rather than jail time for minor offenders. Ankle monitoring systems allow people to work while ‘serving their sentence.’ Sensible sentencing policies cut crime rates so drastically that they closed 19 prisons in 2017. Social and rehabilitative services cut recidivism rates in half because, instead of treating prisoners like it’s the 19th century, they utilize proven policies to integrate offenders rather than exhaust them as manual labor. Their prison system costs less per prisoner than the United States because they emphasize long-term, sustainable policies rather than short-term exploitation.
The social psychologist manager of Norway’s Bastoy prison states, “You don't change people by power. It is important that when they are released, they are less likely to commit more crimes. That is justice for society.” This method of rehabilitation is tried and true, and America should restore humanity to American prisoners to the betterment of all society.
Commentary
This ended up being one of the most well-written and thoroughly researched Essay E topics that I’ve ever assisted. They do an excellent job on covering a lot of territory in terms of the scope and scale of the injustices and social issues present in America’s incarceration system.
Their order of argument begins with an assessment of the State of Texas, discussing relevant laws that increase sentences for low-level offenders, providing an overview of the US Federal Prison System, pivoting to a discussion of history, and linking the history of slavery with present-day inequality and institutional racism. They also provide constructive solutions for rehabilitation rather than retribution by citing a variety of sources and making comparisons with effective alternatives in European countries.
Referencing and expanding upon Shane Bauer’s seminal work American Prison is also an effective use of how a single source can develop and strengthen your argument. Often, I see students touch on a source without utilizing it fully.
Another interesting angle is that their issue of importance doesn’t relate to themselves, their family, or their proposed first-choice major. It’s simply something that interested them that they investigated because it interested them. Outstanding examples of Essay E are sometimes ones that could turn into an undergraduate or graduate thesis, and this sample offers ample territory for further research and analysis.
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Plastics
Plastic covers almost all of our world’s beaches, polluting our oceans and land. Plastic pollution isn’t a problem confined to developing countries; it’s a huge issue in Austin. Almost all consumer products and services involve plastics including utensils, grocery bags, straws, and cosmetic containers. Although recent efforts to encourage reusable bags and straws are small steps in the right direction, the problem is more complex. Plastics that come from petroleum, are present in almost all products, and are a cheap resource.
Forty years ago, Texas started the “Don’t Mess With Texas” movement to reduce litter on our highways that eventually spread nationwide. Iconic advertising campaigns, ubiquitous roadway signs, and heavy fines have helped to reduce littering substantially. It’s almost unimaginable nowadays to throw a bottle on I-35.
Local Austin businesses are continuing these shifts in attitude. Starbucks is switching to 100% recyclable cups. The city of Austin attempted a plastic bag ban, but the Texas Supreme Court ruled against their efforts. Snooze and Alamo Draft House use biodegradable straws rather than their single-use plastic counterparts. Replacing plastic with more environmentally conscious options can help decrease demand for consumer plastics and thus their industrial manufacturing.
Although getting rid of plastics entirely seems like the most practical solution, there are downsides. Not all Austin-area businesses can afford plastic replacements. People living on tight budgets may not be able to afford the few dollars for cloth grocery bags. Biodegradable replacements skyrocket the cost of items like toothpaste and milk. Consequently, businesses in Austin and suburbs like my hometown Pflugerville have not made the switch. It’s hard to change local policies, but I choose not to use straws. I always remember to bring my reusable grocery bags.
I’ve met with the manager of our university dining halls, and they’re making efforts to remove the plastic utensils and switch fully to reusable plates and silverware. Since speaking with him, the university has started promoting environmentally-friendly napkins. I see a significant decrease in the use of plastic plates and utensils.
Journalists and communication professionals play a huge role in the plastic debate. New articles in local, state, and university newspapers come out every day. Local TV anchors are finding ways to keep citizens up to date on economical ways to reduce their carbon footprint. Complex climate science requires people who distill and present actionable information to the public. Journalists compliment the work of engineers, policymakers, scientists, and industry professionals. The media also serve as a watchdog for corporations that pollute our seas, land, and waterways. I first learned about the pervasive plastic pollution problem from the Austin-American Stateman.
I imagine a “Don’t Mess with Austin” campaign for the 21st century. Central Texas is already a leader in environmental awareness. Just as how Texas deterred highway littering, Austin and the University of Texas can be leaders in reducing consumer and corporate plastic consumption. UT students returning home over their summers or beginning their careers in Dallas, San Antonio, and Houston can bring their habits to other communities. Like the bluebonnets that line our highways every spring, I hope for a city and state free of sidewalk plastic, clogged gutter, and littered lakes.
Recently, some UT seniors founded a branch of Precious Plastic Texas to help involve students in the fight against single-use plastic. The students are creating machines that melt plastic and transform them into everyday products. I would love to join their effort, leveraging my storytelling skills to do my part in raising environmental awareness.
If we can reduce the plastic in circulation and increase our recycling efforts, future generations can hopefully live in a healthier Austin. It’s worth at least acknowledging that our individual actions spread throughout our communities. Regardless of one’s belief of the source or degree of climate change, it’s our moral obligation to think about the world we are creating today for future children and grandchildren. Educating my community about the effects of plastic pollution is critical. What starts with me, changes the world.
Commentary
Similar to the above sample regarding the American prison system, this issue of importance response on plastics is well-researched and covers territory that focuses almost exclusively on local and state issues. One common error I see students make is making their essays way too broad, especially with global topics like climate change. There is a tendency towards discussing worldwide issues in such a vague way that their argument loses force and focus.
Many students write about climate change, and rightly so. It’s the topic that keeps me awake at night with concerns about the ecological health of our planet and whether humans can continue living here in sustainable ways. Early on in the drafting process, it’s critical to hone in and narrow down your topic. There are literally thousands of climate-related topics that occur in biomes, cities, countries, and environments around the world.
I suggest picking one or two topics and one or two locations, in this case plastics and the City of Austin. Narrowing the scope of your essay can help find specific evidence and sources to support your points and also make recommendations, which this student does very well. It isn’t necessary to identify solutions to problems, but I appreciate how this applicant considers imaginative campaigns to reduce the amount of plastics in circulation.
Another flaw with climate change essays is they are often impersonal or abstract. They talk about problems “out there” in the world without reference to local impacts or how their daily life might be affected. It’s neat that the author went the extra mile to discuss with their university’s dining hall staff ways to be more sustainable and limit waste. Personalizing an issue makes it easier to consider potential downsides to your position and also link it into larger state or national conversations. Finally, they close with a discussion how UT and a relevant student organization can help them continue their advocacy.
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Nutrition and Wellness
We rarely ate out as a family, so I knew something was up when they broke the news. My parents shared that my dad had just been diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. Soon after his diagnosis, the chemo and radiation treatments began. I was nine.
The surgery was definitely the hardest part. He lost almost twenty pounds, making his recovery even harder. We never eat out anymore because my dad doesn’t have much of a colon and requires a specialized diet. He doesn’t eat at family gatherings. It saddened me that he felt left out. We missed a family reunion vacation in Spain hosted by my grandpa because my dad wasn’t well enough to join.
I learned only recently that his surgery was high-risk. It’s a miracle that he survived. Despite his trials, he prevailed. Before his diagnosis, he was training for a marathon but had to put it on hold. He’s been in remission for almost ten years, and I’m happy to say he completed his first marathon in February.
We initially feared that this kind of cancer runs in our family. About a year after my dad’s diagnosis and surgery, my paternal grandmother received the same cancer diagnosis. Due to my grandma’s age, her case was a little more serious. She fought it off for a time, but it only took about a year and a half for it to come back. This time, it spread even faster.
Sadly, despite all the medical trials and surgeries, cancer got to her liver and killed her four years after she was diagnosed. My dad felt her pain particularly since he knew exactly what she was going through. He received genetic testing, and it turns out to be a cruel coincidence that they experienced the exact same cancer.
Even though I was just a child when my dad was diagnosed, I still remember our family's summer of chemo, radiation, surgery, and pain. My mom tried so hard to remain strong, but I knew deep inside how afraid she was to lose my dad and raise two kids as a single mother. As a little girl, I thought my mom knew exactly what to do, but I understand now she was just as lost and confused as us if maybe for different reasons.
After my dad’s and especially following my grandma’s diagnoses, my mom completely changed all of our eating habits. You know how every segment on the local news involves some food that may or may not cause cancer? My mom took them all seriously. If the cancer wasn’t genetic, she reasoned, it must be environmental or due to our diet. Understandably so, she didn’t want me or my brother to receive an early cancer diagnosis.
I hated giving up my Doritos, but I grew accustomed to eating spinach and leafy greens in substitute for grains and processed foods. Not only did I start to like eating healthier, I realized I couldn’t eat any other way. My extended family, especially my dad’s side, tends to stick to the cheapest, most processed foods. They never shy away from white bread, box macaroni, frozen dinners, and sodas.
I’m thankful mom reformed our food pantry and eating habits. Sure, it’s possible that I could get cancer, but I sleep and feel better than ever before. If I limit my cancer risk, that’s an additional benefit. I’ve cut out processed, high-sugar foods. Eating at home helps me eat nutritiously and also saves money. I’ve substituted white flour with protein-rich alternatives and use ground cauliflower for pizza crust.
Food may be an important part of one’s overall nutrition, but maintaining an active lifestyle also matters. I played team sports for most of my life. I’m not a big fan of running, but my dad is an amazing distance runner. Running together with my dad, who often says he feels lucky to be alive, pushes me to go the extra mile. We run local races, most recently the CASA 5K. I can’t keep up with him yet, but I look forward to running our first half and full marathons together.
Nutrition and healthy living bring balance to my body and mind. I don’t live in fear of contracting a disease or cancer. I focus on what I can control and prepare myself for whatever life throws at me. I look forward to earning my Nutrition degree so I can share my story and guide others on their personal health journey.
Commentary
The prompt offers applicants the opportunity to discuss an issue of personal or family importance, and this essay hits that target squarely. Limiting the scope to their family’s habits and lifestyle changes offers the admissions reviewer the chance to learn more about the applicant. They’re majoring in Nutrition, so this is also an effective example of how Essay E can complement and serve as an extension to the Essay A statement of purpose.
One thing I like about this topic is their discussion of specific foods that they limited or substituted with healthier options. It might be tempting to lament “society’s poor eating habits” without reference to your own individual consumption. It’s a similar flaw to social media or technology essays where the author talks impersonally about the perils of Facebook or Snapchat without discussing their own relationship and use of social media.
They’ve done an excellent job discussing their dad’s battle with cancer and how nutrition and wellness is a significant issue to them. The reader knows exactly why they’re writing this essay, so there isn’t any confusion about the applicant’s intent. It’s also a very relatable essay - who among us doesn’t think about or occasionally worry about our weight, food consumption, body image, and so on?
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